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"Ask Sarah" Wedding Etiquette and Advice

So you're getting married and you probably have questions.  I have answers!  Hi, I'm Sarah - a woman who is passionate about weddings.   

Ask Sarah Question:  I have a question on bridesmaids. When I got engaged 1 year and 3 months ago, I had asked my brother's fiancιe to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. About 6 months ago, they broke up. I then asked my good friend to be in my wedding. But, my brother and his girlfriend got back together after only being apart a month or so.

Their relationship is kinda off-again-on-again, so now I don't know what to do. I could probably find another groomsman to match her with, but I'd prefer to keep the number of bridesmaids down. Is it rude to take back the offer? I don't want to start a family feud, but I'm not convinced that they will be together forever and that would be an awkward thing to have my brother's ex in all of our wedding pictures. What is the best way to handle this?
Thanks!

-Samantha

Sarah:  First of all congratulations on your engagement, what an exciting time in
your life! 

Regarding your brother's girlfriend and her place in your special day, I can certainly see the tenderness of your situation.  I would say that at the moment your brother and her broke up, that was unofficially the "take back of the offer," and that she would fully understand that she was replaced as a bridesmaid.  However, if you have not had this conversation with her yet, I would say that is in order.  I would suggest grabbing some coffee with her and clear things up. 

I would not feel obligated to add her back into the wedding, especially considering that her and your brother may or may not be together.  This is your special day, so it is important that you stay true to what your gut is telling you.  If by the time the wedding occurs, her and your brother are still together there will be plenty of things she could assist with.  She could help cut the cake, be your gift attendant, hand out programs, etc... 

Best wishes Samantha and feel free to write back and let me know how it goes!

-Sarah

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